


Pickup Line Wars

by whyisthisathing



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Flirting, Ghostbusters References, Hammertime - Freeform, M/M, Pepsicola, Pickup Lines, pepsicola fluff, total dweebiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-05
Updated: 2014-02-05
Packaged: 2018-01-11 06:57:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1170043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whyisthisathing/pseuds/whyisthisathing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in which John decides to be incredibly dorky, Dave is smooth. Bluh bluh bluh.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pickup Line Wars

**Author's Note:**

> uh so yeah  
> this is my first fan fiction  
> and i'm writing it on a phone.  
> so.  
> i apologize in advance for shittiness!

Your name is DAVE STRIDER, and Jesus Christ, you think you've got it bad. You would say 'you've got it bad', but you are fairly certain that this is not the worst. It may not be the worst, but you know it's totally uncool. You're messing with the totally uncool. Why? John Egbert.

Honestly, you're slightly easy to fluster. At least, when it comes down to John. He knows just what buttons to push to make you react just the way he wants. The bastard. 

John is a pain to be best friends with. He is only a pain because you, Dave Strider, are madly in love with him. John is the affectionate type of friend- always stands close, cuddles up to you when you're watching movies or having a sleepover, sits in your lap when playing video games. You would normally enjoy all of this, if you didn't have a thing for the guy. 

 

You can't believe John isn't taking the hint. You've been flirting with him for the last few weeks, and the kid still hasn't noticed! It's time to bring out the big, obvious guns. Pickup lines.

It's Saturday night's movie marathon/sleepover, and it's John's turn to sleep over.

Watching movies with John had always been one of your favorite things to do with him. It was a time for sitting (often cuddling) and idle chat. The movie always ended up being background noise. Currently, you two are sitting on the futon, and you've convinced John to watch Kick Ass. It is one of the only movies with Nicolas Cage in it that you condone.  
John's curled up with a blanket, watching the movie with the same intensity of someone who hasn't seen the movie. His head is resting on your thigh, as you find your fingers idly playing with the soft strands of brownish-black hair.

Your name is JOHN EGBERT, and you sure do enjoy hanging out with Dave. Your eyelids droop slightly when Dave begins playing with your hair. He knows how to get you relaxed and sleepy, and hair-playing is definitely something that does it. You briefly wonder if Dave's trying to put you to sleep. Sure, you two sometimes have contests to see who can stay up the latest, but Dave always wins, without this hair-playing trickery.  
You check your watch. 1:24 in the morning. A yawn escapes your lips, and you nuzzle Dave's thigh. He clears his throat, and you glance up at him, expecting him to say something like 'getting tired, Egbert?'. However, that is not what escaped his mouth.  
"Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Because you have a pretty sweet ass."  
You blink. What? Was he...flirting? You feel your cheeks heat up. You sit up, looking at Dave with semi-wide eyes. It takes you a few seconds to recover. A goofy grin is placed on your lips. Two can play at this game.  
"I lost my number. Can I have yours?" You retort.  
"I was feeling a little off today, but you definitely turned me on." Dave smirks at you, waggling his eyebrows.

Your name is DAVE STRIDER, and you are flirting with John Egbert. You can feel your pulse racing as the first line emerges from your lips. Okay, okay. John is surprised. Shit, John is surprised. But now he's doing that adorable little challenging grin, and he's saying something. Those lips are moving. That's a thing. Okay, yeah. Wait, did he just flirt back? You easily produce another line.  
"You must be the refrigerator and I must be Zuul, because I want to writhe around inside you." John does his adorable, bubbly giggle after that one, and winks, waggling his eyebrows. You open your mouth to flirt back, then close it again. You stare at him blankly.  
"Did you just do a Ghostbusters pi-"  
"Yep."  
"Dork." You roll your eyes (the effect is lost behind your shades) and shove the heel of your hand into his face.


End file.
